Elon Musk—a man who has mastered the art of public spectacle while quietly undermining democracy—has been awarded this year’s prestigious Knob-Bell Piss Prize 2024: the prize that awards the Art of Deception from the World's Greatest Con Artists. Musk has spent the past twelve months kidding us he is a cool, visionary leader, but instead the veil has dropped to reveal a billionaire bent on using his vast resources to distort political discourse for his own gain. As Trump’s first lady (a title he seems to have accepted with gusto), Musk has spent the past twelve months wielding his billions not to push humanity toward the stars but to pull democracy into the gutter.

We admit he had some stiff competition this year. Benjamin Nesanyahu the epitome of evil incarnate will have his own special prize - namely all eternity rotting in hell. Ben Shapiro and Douglas Murray, that pair of pitiful payrolled propagandists, cosplaying as journalists, were a couple of smug contenders, but they helped spill way too much blood  to merit such mere accolades as 'knobs'.

The field was packed with egos and despots, but Musk edged out the competition with his unique blend of hubris, political meddling, and a social media platform turned dumpster fire. This wasn’t just about bad business decisions; this was about the billionaire agenda on full display.

The covert Anti-Woke Crusade

Let’s start with the obvious: Musk’s acquisition of Twitter (or X, as he bizarrely renamed it) was supposed to herald a new era of free speech. Instead, it’s given us a social media platform where an “anti-woke” algorithm prioritises right-wing talking points while throttling progressive voices. Free speech, it turns out, only flows one way when Musk is at the helm—toward those with money and power.

In a move straight out of the billionaire playbook, Musk’s algorithm appears to favour content that aligns with his own political biases. Critics of the status quo? Shadow-banned. Voices championing equity and worker rights? Silenced. All while far-right provocateurs flourish like weeds in a garden left untended. Musk isn’t just tinkering with code; he’s attempting to reshape political discourse in his image, and it’s a grotesque one.

Meddling in Politics: An International Affair

If you thought Musk’s meddling was limited to the U.S., think again. In a year that saw him openly weighing in on global conflicts (sometimes disastrously), Musk also set his sights on Britain. Whether it was through ill-informed tweets about the country’s politics or his attempts to muscle in on its tech landscape, his meddling has made it clear: no democracy is safe from his overreach.

Musk’s penchant for inserting himself into political debates is often cloaked in the language of “help” or “concern,” but make no mistake: his actions serve one primary purpose—to protect and expand the power of billionaires like himself. From opposing labour unions to endorsing anti-democratic ideologies, Musk’s year has been a masterclass in how to undermine working people while pretending to champion innovation.

Social Media as a Weapon

Musk’s transformation of X (formerly Twitter) into a megaphone for the far-right agenda is perhaps his most egregious offence this year. By actively promoting conspiracy theories, reinstating banned accounts of hate figures, and enabling the spread of misinformation, Musk has turned what was once a flawed but vital platform into a playground for authoritarian propaganda. The result? A less informed, more polarised public—just the way Musk and his billionaire cronies like it.

It’s worth noting that Musk’s rhetoric around “free speech” has always been selective. While he’s quick to defend the “right” of far-right voices to spew vitriol, he’s equally swift in silencing critics of his own ventures. Workers at Tesla and SpaceX who’ve spoken out about unsafe conditions or unfair practices know this all too well.

Why the Knob-Bell Piss Prize?

What sets Musk apart isn’t just his actions but the audacity with which he carries them out. He doesn’t merely exploit systems for personal gain; he actively reshapes them to suit his worldview. Whether it’s through tax-evading rockets, union-busting factories, or algorithmic bias on social media, Musk’s year has been a relentless assault on equity, democracy, and truth itself.

The Knob-Bell Piss Prize isn’t just an award; it’s a mirror held up to those who would use their power to trample on the very ideals they claim to uphold. And in 2024, no one has embodied that contradiction more spectacularly than Elon Musk.

So congratulations, Elon. You’ve earned it. Take a bow, or better yet, take a round-trip to mars. It only takes ten years.... The world could use a break from your brand of progress.

Previous Knob-Bell Piss Prize Winners:

2022. Sam Bankman-Fried

2021. Boris Johnson

2020. Dr. Anthony Fauci

2019. Prince Andrew